This site is basically my own Diary!!
I will be adding my thoughts here anytime I want and however I want!!
Used for venting and random notes for myself and stuffz!! Maybe you'll find it interesting!! :3
That's probably all you need to know about this place!
16.3.2025 - Yesterday was fun, I was at a VOS con in Prague with my friends,
I bought myself a chainsaw man pin and a small print on a wall,
It was a black cat with citrus fruit around it, I decided I need it.
Today I traveled with F halfway home again, he was sleeping over at my place.
On the way back, I fell asleep and didnt realize the train goes back to the halfway place.
Because of that, I will arive home 2 hours later than I could've, it made me very mad.
I did not expect what happened last night at all, but I am happy for it. I missed him so much.
It all feels a little strange, but I am not against it.
I'm such a sucker for affection..
Someone shows me a glimpse of it and I'm around their finger immediately.
Luckily, he is the one that has me around his finger now,
I trust him.
I believe in him.
I love him.
Max's out, for now.
21.03.2025 - Currently on my way to Brno again. I'll be there in 3 hours.
Listening to music now and writing stuff downnn. I should be studying too..
Maybe later.. Anyways! I've been through these stations so, so often, ughzhzz
I need a teleporter >:(
But It's fine, I'm SO excited for the animefest in two months.
It will be so fun, and also, the train ride won't be as boring..
BECAUSE I'LL HAVE MY FRIENDS HEREE!!
I AM SOSOSOSOSOSO EXCITED AGHH!!
MAX'S OUT, FOR NOW!!!
27.04.2025 - I feel extremely lonely lately, very distant.
I kind of feel like im third-wheeling sometimes in our friendgroup
Well, more like "fourth-wheeling" since there's 4 of us, but yeah.
I know it's not really the case, but it just feels like it sometimes and I can't help it.
I miss getting all the attention and affection I used to recieve from him.
I miss it so much.
It got to the point, that I unironically even thought of paying someone to show me love.
Althought all of this is currently happening, today was surprisingly a good day.
I studied, I spent time under the sun, decorated my room a bit more again and listened to lots of music.
Also started going green again for the summer (Using my solar charger for all the devices possible).
Trying to save up as much money as possible, it wont be much, but at least something.
Plus im being eco by doing so, which is great. Every single person counts after all.
The animefest is in a month, all of us already bought our tickets.
Still very excited, I'll really spend all my money there, im afraid.
Max's out, for now!
15.5.2025 - This week has been painful, many exams and almost no time for myself.
I get home, I study till the evening, then I watch like 3 videos or play something and go to sleep.
And it goes like this every single day now. I am really tired of it.
As I probably mentioned before, I am trying in my life just for other people.
I dont really have any motivation to work on myself for myself never had one.
The only reason I do study and try is because otherwise other people would feel sad.
And I am trying to at least do that, believe me I do, but I do keep failing anyway.
Today we have 3 exams, I already finished two. I studied for one of them for like 2 weeks.
All that work just to get an F.
I feel dumb and I can tell that people around me think so aswell.
I feel more and more unstable as the days go.
I can't even fucking think straight most of the time anymore.
I just dont want this anymore.
>
Max's out, for now.
3.7.2025 - HOLIDAYS, OH MY FUCKING GOD YES.
I am so glad, fuck everything. I finally have time for myself.
I have to relax, cuz my mental has been very shitty lately as anyone probably figured out by now.
Im visiting Bulgaria in 9 days. I really cant wait.
Its going to be peak again.
Anyways, works on 9b have been going smooth, everything is fine.
Might even be a part of CC sooner or later, wild??
Especially after all the shit that happened between me and Matsuki.
But well, world is strange asf.
I think that's all for now, back to staying up till 4 am and grinding on 9b9t.
Max's out, for now!!!